Dirty Little Secret
by xIcyChanx
Summary: The chandelier hung above him, enticing in its enormity, but Ed seemingly took all its glory. Its light made her red dress sparkle, her hair glow; it was a slave to her beauty. Just like him. He had missed her. Nothing was quite what Roy had expected. His body hummed at the thought of her, his blood pumping in his veins, but he had to ignore it; he had to... [Roy/Fem!Ed, lemon]


_A/N Happy new year everyone! Cannot believe this fic, haha. At first it started as a casual little lemon I began writing on the 31st, and was gonna upload in my little collections fic, but it ended up being longer than I thought, so I just decided to post it for new years. It surprised me how much it kinda fit, haha. But yeah, I've got a couple more long fics I will eventually get to finish. I wanna start writing again, as I've realised it's good for my mental health. I'd sort of let it go with uni and work, but it's such an essential part of me, and I missed my babies :)_

 _So yeah, here is a saucy new years lemon that wasn't supposed to be lol_

* * *

 _Dirty Little Secret_

It wasn't quite what Roy had expected.

He remembered her differently, perhaps more brash, less put together. Years on the road left her coming to his office dirty to report, and she didn't even care. It was how he remembered her, with that braid, carelessly put together every morning and that bright red coat that stood out. Now, she looked…sophisticated, elegant, even. And that had never been a word he thought he'd use to describe Edeline Elric.

Perhaps he was staring, but so were most people. Those that knew her before. Roy was sure she still had the same voice, the same attitude. But she had changed in other ways, and that brought forth an unexpected pang of nostalgia, of how it was before. It reminded him that they had all changed, him included. Sometimes, he found himself remembering his years as a Colonel with a wistful smile.

Everyone around him was dressed in classy dresses and tuxedos. This was a formal military ball, after all. The chandelier hung above him, enticing in its enormity, but, selfishly, Ed seemingly took all its glory. Its light made her red dress sparkle, her hair glow; it was a slave to her beauty. Just like his eyes.

He heard Havoc's disbelief beside him; even he, hadn't expected Ed to turn up like this. Hell, he'd had doubts she'd even turn up at all.

He hadn't seen her in years. Honestly, after the Promised Day, when Al was restored, and they went back to Resembool, she really had no reason to contact him and the military. It made Roy sad, reluctant as he was to admit it, that they had cut all contact like that. He thought he personally had meant more to them, to Ed.

That was until Fuhrer Grumman wanted to host a tribute to the Promised Day; a formal military ball, where everyone who contributed to their victory was invited. The Armstrong family had kindly agreed to host it in their massive mansion. That was why Roy currently stood against the wall of this spacious room in a tuxedo, sipping his champagne. He told himself he was people watching, observing everyone's lively conversations, trying to find familiar faces.

He'd known Ed and Al were invited. Of course they would be; they were the real stars during the Promised Day. But Roy had been here for two hours already and he had not detected them. In spite of himself, he had been excited to catch up with them; he was curious to know what they had been up to the last few years. How many had it been? Four, he noted. Ed would be twenty-two. Gosh, he thought, she must've changed.

And now, seeing her walk in, stealing the show, his brain was comparing the Ed he remembered to the Ed that just walked through the door.

"Guys, is that really Ed and Al?" Havoc whispered next to him, to Breda and the others. His voice was distant to Roy. It was like everything had tuned out for him.

Holding Ed's arm was Alphonse, tall and proud and _grown_. The last time he truly saw Al was when he got discharged from the hospital; he had been basically a skeleton. Now, he was a presence, muscular and healthy, and looking dashing in his tuxedo.

But Alphonse hadn't elicited the same shock he got from looking at Ed. It was peculiar, because Al had actually changed more than Ed. But the bright red dress, sparkly and tight and _feminine_ ; that was certainly a bigger change in his eyes. Her blonde hair flowed down to her waist, luscious and bright. Had her hair always been so blonde? Had her eyes really been so unique?

He had missed her.

The feeling hit him unexpectedly, and he sucked in a deep breath. It was like she heard it, her eyes scanning the crowd and inevitably connecting with his. And he didn't look away.

But neither did she.

They had never spoken about the goodbye party, before she and Al left for Resembool. And for some reason, the moment she noticed him, the moment she and Alphonse started walking towards them, Al with a bright smile on his face, it was the only thing Roy could think about.

He hadn't thought about that in months; the more time passed since he saw Ed, the less he remembered how that night he had thought she was special, beautiful in a way no other woman was. His memory had not done her justice, he thought, as she stopped right in from of him.

Had another man realised her beauty yet?

"Guys!" Al boomed, instantly hugging everyone. He and Ed had yet to break eye contact. What was she thinking right now? Did she remember the goodbye party? Was she feeling awkward about it?

"Hey," she said. It was directed at him, not at the others. It was his own personal greeting.

With a deep breath, he said, "Hey."

Mesmerised, he thought, that's what he was.

"General Mustang, sir! How have you been?" Roy was enveloped in a hug, laughing as he rubbed Al's back. His eyes strayed from hers.

He was a bit out of it still, like he was only physically present.

"I'm good, Alphonse, you look so different."

"You haven't changed at all, sir!"

He and Al continued to chat, the others chiming in and eventually taking over. It was a boisterous conversation. They clearly had so much to catch up on, and Roy was truly interested in the tales. And yet his attention was still on Ed.

"Edeline, you look beautiful." Hawkeye approached Ed and gave her a friendly smile. Hawkeye looked dashing as well, with her blue dress, flowing down to the floor. She held a glass of champagne, the same one she got two hours ago. Roy knew she wasn't a drinker.

Ed smiled back, albeit awkwardly.

"Al got me that dress, I was just gonna wear something casual, really. You look amazing, Hawkeye. Major, is it?"

Hawkeye gave another warm smile. "Yes. It's so good to see you, you two should visit more often. We've all missed you."

Roy agreed with her. His office wasn't the same without Ed.

Ed looked a bit embarrassed, one hand going to the back of her neck as she gave a chuckle. "Sorry, we were so focused on Al getting better time just flew." Roy swore she glanced at him. "And all of a sudden it's four years later."

He really wanted to talk to her, but alone. He and Ed had private conversations only, he didn't want anyone to be privy to their discussion. He had never really noticed it until she was gone, but their conversations had predominantly happened in his office, and he'd just gotten used to speaking to her privately. And now, he wanted her to tell him everything about her life these past four years, and he didn't want to be just another face in the circle of friends she told.

The conversation flew easily. Al had always been the chatty one, Ed the more reserved one. She barely contributed, standing rather awkwardly by the side. Al had the attention of everyone, telling them story after story about what had occurred both during his travels to Xing and his recovery. Everyone's attention, except Roy's.

Ed held Roy's attention, and she didn't even know it.

She was staring around aimlessly, seeming distracted. He approached her, trying to be as friendly as he could.

"Would you like a drink?"

Ed looked at him wide-eyed, as though she hadn't expected him to even speak to her, then gave an awkward chuckle. "Sure, I guess." Her cheeks turned an attractive pink.

She was feeling on edge, but Roy didn't know exactly why. Was she just awkward to be here in a dress? Was it them, that she hadn't seen them in so long?

Was he the problem here?

He had known for a fact that he always made Ed uncomfortable in some way. At first, it was more intimidation. It morphed into annoyance, irritation, dislike, even. And then, somehow, it became something more obscure, all of that thrown in a cocktail of emotions, to reveal a lust neither of them understood.

And now she was looking at him with an expression he couldn't read, but had seen before. At the goodbye party. She must've thought about it already, at least once. And how could she not? It was basically their last interaction.

They walked over to the bar together, finally away from the others. They hadn't even noticed they were gone, and Roy was thankful. While he liked Alphonse's friendly nature, he didn't want him interrupting his time with Ed.

He turned to her with a polite smile, though his eyes looked at her pointedly. "I'm guessing wine instead of champagne?"

She visibly gulped, nodding and lowering her gaze.

Perhaps he was being a bit of a bastard by referencing her aversion to champagne, which he found out about at the goodbye party. She remembered it too. She had wine instead, a bit too much, while he'd had a bit too much champagne…And they both knew how that ended.

Roy began pouring the red liquid in a glass for her.

"Only a little bit."

Roy couldn't help a little smirk. So she wasn't planning on getting anything close to drunk tonight. What was she scared of doing with her inhibitions low, sleep with him again?

He handed her the glass, which she took hesitantly, trying not to accidentally touch him.

Frankly, Roy never found out what she thought of their one-night stand four years ago. They had both been drunk, they had never spoken about it or even mentioned it. Ed hadn't even been in his bed in the morning. And after that, she had left Central.

They sipped their drinks in silence. Roy had so many questions for her, but her obvious unease was rubbing off on him.

"How about we go out on the balcony? It's way too hot in here."

Ed shrugged and followed him upstairs. Roy had been to the Armstrong house before and knew his way around some areas relatively well. When he had been offered a guestroom while he was sent to finish up some business in the town, he found out that particular room had an amazing balcony.

And that was where he was taking Ed right now.

Instantly, it was quieter up here. It made Roy realise how exhausted he got by chatter.

"Where are we going, exactly?"

He looked back at Ed, who was trying her best to get up the stairs in her heels. She was holding on to the rather sophisticated banister, swaying while simultaneously trying not to spill her wine. It made him smile; at least that hadn't changed, Ed still couldn't walk in heels.

"You'll see." He offered her a hand, which she stared at as though it was a life or death decision. Finally, she bit her lip and placed her hand in his, and for some reason Roy felt he had won a battle.

They hurried unnecessarily, as though they weren't supposed to be up here. A look at Ed, and Roy took in her amused smile. He was smiling too.

He really had missed her.

The years after she left consisted of him getting promoted and drowning in responsibilities. He didn't have much time to think about pretty much anything apart from his career, and the end goal. It had calmed down, finally, in the last year, but Roy had been left with not much of a social life.

He thought about her sometimes, wondered what it would've been like if she was still there, by his side, if he'd had the honour of promoting her to Colonel. She deserved every bit of that title, and yet she didn't want it. It meant nothing to her. Somehow, that made Roy admire her more, how she didn't crave power over people.

They entered the bedroom, and Ed froze. Without looking at her, he pulled her towards the balcony. She must've thought he brought her here hoping for something, but she was wrong. Four years was a long time, and Roy doubted, considering her body language, she was into having sex with him tonight. Hell, her distant behaviour could even mean she was with someone else and didn't want to accidentally send the wrong message.

The moment the cool night air hit him, Roy sighed in relief. He turned to her, smiling. "Now, this is much better, isn't it?" He sat down on the little table and motioned for Ed to sit next to him. She hesitated only a moment.

"I don't think this table is for sitting on."

Roy shrugged. "It's Armstrong's house, he can transmute it in a heartbeat."

He saw Ed's eyes dim a little at the mention of alchemy, and Roy remembered that she had lost her ability to transmute. Four years without alchemy, how was she coping? The question was hot on his tongue, but he didn't want to upset her. He already knew she missed alchemy.

"So, what have you been up to? I heard you're a General now."

Roy raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. He hadn't expected her to initiate conversation.

"It's been busy. I got promoted to General right after you left. The paperwork's _insane_. And let me tell you, your reports were actually not the worst. Imagine that."

Despite herself, Ed laughed at that, staring down the railing at the massive garden the Armstrongs owned as she reminisced. "Fucking hell, I can't believe I actually used to write that shit, it's been so long I can probably barely spell anymore."

Roy scoffed, smirking. "You could barely spell when you worked for me."

That got him a punch in the arm, at which Roy laughed.

They both sipped their drink in silence. "How have your four years been? I assume more relaxing than mine."

Ed shrugged, sipping her wine again. "I was stressed till Al recovered, and then he had the guts to fucking leave the country alone and I was worried sick every day. So, I don't know how that compares to your ordeal but mine was shit too."

Roy chuckled. At the core, she was still very much Ed. It surprised him how relieved he was. "I can imagine." Then, he smirked. "Lovely dress you're wearing today, would've never imagined you wearing something like this."

It had the desired effect. Ed turned crimson, and took a gulp of her wine. "Al picked it out for me, I was gonna be casual but no, Al was mortified at that."

Roy chuckled again in spite of himself as he envisioned the scene. He was enjoying this time with Ed more than he had enjoyed two hours downstairs.

He gazed at her, her slender legs, one automail in disguise, her rather short dress…It accentuated her curves perfectly; curves he knew intimately…The clothes she wore usually obscured them, but not today. The dress tied around her neck, leaving a slit open at her chest, her back exposed. It was elegant and suited her perfectly, yet Roy's mind couldn't help but tell him one thing; she wasn't wearing a bra.

His body hummed at the thought, his blood pumping in his veins, but he had to ignore it; he _had_ to.

He averted his gaze lest Ed notice he was staring. "You do look stunning tonight though."

Ed blushed again, twirling her wine in the glass. "Thanks." She placed the glass on the railing, and Roy noticed she'd barely drank anything.

He wanted to bring it up; the goodbye party. But he didn't want to seem desperate. It was four years ago, and people had one-night stands all the time; he should know. But with Ed it hadn't been the same, it hadn't felt like a simple drunken one-night stand. They had too much history for that, too many complicated feelings.

The wind ruffled their hair, and Ed closed her eyes to savour it. Roy couldn't help but stare. As reluctant as he was to admit it, she had affected him that night. He hadn't realised; yes, he had felt confused and unusually hurt the morning after, when he woke up alone, but the years made him forget the effect she had on him.

And now here she was again, reminding him of just that…

Their thighs touched, their shoulders rubbing together with the slightest of movement. The table wasn't big at all; they were sat way too close to each other. Her scent hadn't changed, he tried to remember the taste of her skin…

He wanted to risk it; at least he could try understanding what that night meant to her and move on. It wasn't like she was staying in Central, he would probably not see her for another four years…

"Ed…"

Ed looked at him, golden eyes curious yet apprehensive. Was she worried he was going to mention it?

Biting his lip, he decided on something less confrontational. He maintained eye contact, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I missed you."

Her lips parted, her eyes wide. Her cheeks were turning red again. She broke the sudden silence by laughing awkwardly and averting her gaze. "Y-yeah sorry, I–I didn't mean to not have any contact for four years, but–"

Roy's hand on her bare thigh made her cut off in a gasp. Roy thought, for a moment, that she was going to stand up and leave, maybe slap him. But instead she remained frozen, her breathing coming out in gasps. Roy placed his empty glass on the balcony railing and turned his body towards her.

His hand slipped away from her thigh. He sighed. "I'm sorry, I crossed a line."

She gulped and finally looked at him, and his breath got caught in his throat. Her eyes a molten gold, her pupils dilated, her cheeks incredibly flushed…

He had seen that expression before, in his room, four years ago…

He could feel his body responding, his eyes subconsciously taking her body in, noticing her nipples, now hard and visible through the sparkly red dress – yes, she wasn't wearing a bra.

She wasn't repulsed like he had thought. She hadn't been avoiding contact all night because she didn't want to send the wrong message.

He could tell she had been scared this would happen. That she would get aroused. By him.

His gaze went back to her eyes, which were staring at him, unwavering. He could already feel the beginnings of an arousal. His hand went back on her thigh, boldly moving upwards until he could feel her underwear, his eyes never once leaving hers. Ed's face was scarlet, her breathing quick pants. She was looking at him mutely, her gaze blatantly wanton.

He didn't know who leaned in first, but all of a sudden, he could feel Ed's exhale on his face, the slight brush of her nose on his, and then her lips on his. It was like he came alive, his breath shuddering as he grabbed a fistful of her hair, pushing her closer. He felt like he had been unknowingly deprived of her, and now that he got a little bit, he realised just how deprived he'd really been.

She moaned as their tongues touched, the sound going directly to his already awakened arousal. She grabbed at his shirt, pulling him closer, desperately.

He remembered how needy she had been all those years ago, moaning his name so loudly, telling him she wanted _more_. An erection was already alive in his pants, throbbing in anticipation.

Their tongues danced, her soft sounds and shaking hands arousing him even more. When he saw her enter the ballroom, he had wanted her. But now, as her hands started pulling down his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, he _needed_ her.

He disconnected their lips, taking in her hungry expression for a second before he jumped off the table and stood in front of her, spreading her legs. Her entire front was pressed against his torso as he reconnected their lips, her body heat way too enticing. His hands slid up her thighs, relishing her shudder. He grabbed her from the back and hoisted her up. She barely reacted, diving in to lick at his neck while her hands tried to get rid of his shirt impatiently.

He threw her on the bed, her gasping in surprise, before climbing on top of her and attacking her lips once more. Her legs wrapped around him, a muffled moan escaping when he sucked on her tongue.

Gosh, he really had been deprived. He was desperate for her, and he immensely enjoyed how equally desperate she was for him. They needed each other, and it was too confusing to think about the why and the how. And when that need started developing, without their knowledge.

But right now, nothing else mattered. Nothing but quenching the, till now, dormant thirst for each other.

He peeled the tight red garment over her hips up to her midsection, and then roughly ripped her underwear off. Her heels dropped to the floor, but he paid them no heed. His erection was throbbing as he broke the kiss and dived right between her legs. Ed was panting, staring at the ceiling wide-eyed, her hands fisted in the bed covers.

The moment his tongue touched her throbbing clit, she threw her head back and moaned loudly. Her hands flew to grip his hair, hard – he remembered she liked that. Her legs spread on their own, her body trashing from the pleasure, her moans loud – just like last time.

"Fuck, Roy, _finally_ , f-fuck, _ah–_ " Nothing she said made sense, her body's reactions completely primal, which in turn made Roy's own primal instincts scream.

Last time, they were pissed drunk, which was why Roy could never tell what had been Ed and what the alcohol, but now, they were sober, and he was deducing that Ed's unexpected desperation for him was all her…

He wondered for a mere second, if her need and desperation was for him specifically.

She moaned his name as though she wanted everyone to know she was with him as his tongue toyed with her clit. He grabbed her thighs, spreading her legs further. He could tell she was close already, her hips grinding against his face and her breathing became laboured.

"Ah, fuck, yes," she moaned, her mouth opening wide in a silent scream as she orgasmed. When the pleasure kept coming, she gripped the bed covers hard as she panted and ground her hips desperately, her loud moans being an award to Roy.

She was his now, no-one could hear them up here, he'd waited four years and now the time had come – he would drive her insane with pleasure.

She returned to pulling at his hair, letting out one last deep moan, before her body relaxed so fast it was like she actually fell from cloud nine.

The moment he got his head out from between her legs, he saw exactly what he expected to. Her hair a blonde halo around her head, now tangled and no longer brushed to perfection. Her cheeks a healthy red, her legs still temptingly spread. And her eyes wide and still very, very needy.

Not everyone could satisfy a woman like Ed…

"Turn around," he commanded, even though he grabbed her hips and turned her himself. He kept his hands on her exposed ass, squeezing, as his mouth began placing open mouthed kissed on her back, lips trailing along her spine. When he reached her shoulder, he bit the hint of a scar, and she groaned.

Brushing her hair to the side, he sucked on her neck, her throat, licking and remembering the taste of her creamy skin. She threw her head back for more, eyes closed.

"Roy…"

A needy plea. He pulled back, and her head fell back down, face buried in the bed covers, her hands fisting them. Roy took a moment to admire the view of her, so vulnerable and unguarded. In public, Ed was stoic, detached. And yet in bed…she was a needy little minx.

He smirked, lifting his hand and smacking her ass, relishing her gasp.

He leaned over her, near her ear. "Patient."

She whined, "Bastard," and Roy grabbed her hair in punishment and pulled, her head getting pulled back with the force – and then she moaned, and he smirked.

Needy little minx.

With one hand still in her hair, he untied the dress at her neck. "Turn around now." Again, he grabbed her hip and turned her with little help from her. The dress, no longer supported around her neck, slid down, exposing part of her breasts. Roy decided to get rid of it completely, pulling it down her hips and throwing it on the floor. She was naked in front of him, panting, so completely wet and ready his erection became painful in his dress pants.

He got rid of them, fully aware of Ed's eyes on him. He smirked, ready to take his boxers off but teasing her instead. She licked her lips, her wanton gaze on the bulge in his underwear. He was going to make her wait a little longer, make her even more desperate for him…

Even though he wasn't showing it as openly, however, Roy was still achingly desperate for her too. By torturing her, he was torturing himself…

He wanted this to last though, because he didn't know when he'd get her like this again…

Leaning over her, he gave her a loving, deep kiss before his lips trailed down her neck, then stopped between her breasts.

He loved her breasts, and the reactions touching them elicited.

Licking her nipple elicited a whimper, sucking her nipple was a small moan, sucking one and playing with the other was a much louder moan – he'd paid attention last time, and now she didn't disappoint. He really did love her breasts; if he could, he would kiss them and bite them and play with them all the time. That was another thing he found himself doing since their one-night stand – he would imagine them laying in bed, making dinner together in the kitchen, cuddling on the couch, him stroking her thigh or touching her breast. Things one would only do with a significant other.

He pulled back and admired his work; her breasts were now a tender pink, her nipples hard and abused. He caught her gaze again, read what was clearly displayed on her face.

She wanted him inside her. Last time, she had voiced it, slurred words taking him closer and closer to the edge. Now, a bit more restrained, she tried telling him with those eyes of hers…

He could feel the precum soiling his boxers, and he decided it was finally time to give them both what they wanted. Ed hoisted herself up on her elbows as Roy took his boxers off. She stared shamelessly, until Roy leaned back in and captured her lips, pushing her body back down.

The kiss was pure passion. Her hands wound themselves in his hair again, just as he entered her in one go. She was so wet he slid right in. They were already panting just as they started thrusting, and Ed soon broke the kiss for air. She threw her head back, moaning as they picked up the pace. Her legs wrapped around his back, the automail one easily distinguished by the slight chill he felt from under the beige glove.

"Harder," she breathed, moaning when Roy did just that. He grunted, burying his face in her neck as they rocked, both blissfully lost in the pleasure they gave each other. Ed pulled on Roy's hair as he pounded in her, her moans loud and an insane turn on to him. He loved how needy she was for him. And only him. He never wanted any other man to see her like this.

He was close and he didn't want it to end. He stopped thrusting, which was embarrassedly harder than he would admit, and stared at Ed's flushed and sweaty face, panting. She was about to ask why he stopped, when he pulled out and roughly turned her around. He lifted her hips up and he slid back inside her, with her meeting his thrusts as best she could.

She was so perfect, in every way possible.

Grabbing her hips, he thrust harder, relishing her moans, the way her fists were pulling at the bed covers. No-one could hear them up here, they were all in their own little world downstairs, completely unaware that two main guests had disappeared.

This would be their dirty little secret.

His hand fisted in her hair, pulling roughly once more – he found it so hot that she liked that.

"Fuck," she breathed, her hands fisting tighter in the sheets.

He pulled out again, groaning in spite of himself, just as he felt the orgasm coming. He didn't want this to end. He wanted to stay here with Ed forever, in this little bubble of pleasure and need.

Ed whined loudly in protest, and as punishment he slapped her ass again.

"Get up," he said. It was meant to sound commanding again, but she had him winded and desperate for release, so it came out breathless.

She did as told – for once, Roy thought with a smirk – and stared up at him, her pupils dilated and her mouth swollen red. Her whole body had turned a pinkish hue; she looked thoroughly fucked, and he wasn't even done yet.

He sat down on the bed and grabbed her pliant body, guiding her on him. Instantly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered herself down, Roy growling his praise against her lips. She had orgasmed beautifully like this last time; this position had gotten the loudest moans, the best thrusts…He wanted to watch her again.

Grabbing her hips, he started slow, guiding her pace as she bounced on him. Her breasts, perfectly round and swollen, were bouncing with her, her nipples grazing his chest with every bounce.

He let her go faster, and she placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. He watched her in awe; she was truly so perfect, so alluring.

She threw her head back, exposing her creamy neck as she moaned, her bouncing never stopping. Roy was so close he could feel his muscles tightening, ready for the upcoming orgasm.

"Fuck, Edeline," he groaned. "I can't get enough of you."

He pulled at her hair once more, just as his orgasm came, finally, with Ed bouncing and her nipples hard and grazing his chest and her scent fogging his brain. He couldn't think of anything other than the sensations she was giving him. She moaned as she tightened around him, shaking as a second orgasm ripped through her. Her nails dug into his shoulders and it all seemed to last forever, until Ed collapsed forwards on him in exhaustion.

He fell back and lay on the bed with her on top, equally exhausted.

His mind wiped clean, his eyes stared unseeingly at the ceiling as he caught his breath. Ed was panting on top of him, her body limp and hot to the touch. A thin layer of sweat coated both of their bodies.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that. Hell, Roy didn't know how long they had been up here in the first place. What if the others were looking for them?

He could just picture it now.

He was just catching up with Ed, he would tell them, when in fact he had just had the best sex of his life.

Ed stirred, weakly pushing some of her bodyweight off him. But he hadn't minded; he would let her lie on him forever if she wanted.

With a grunt, she rolled to the side, onto her back next to him. They didn't say anything for a while, until Roy had regained a bit of strength and turned onto his side. He watched her stare blankly at the ceiling. What was she thinking?

As if she read his mind, she spoke.

"We did it again."

Roy placed an arm over her waist. "We did." Then, insecurity kicked in and he added, "Do you regret it?"

Ed chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. "That's the thing, I don't." In a whisper, she added, "I'd do it again."

Roy would've been ecstatic had she not said it with a pang of sadness.

"Me too," he confessed, to which she gave a humourless laugh.

"Of course you would." She shook her head. "I thought it'd be different after so long, that I'd be different."

Roy frowned. Reaching up, he turned her head towards him by softly grasping her chin. He cupped her cheek. "I really missed you, Ed. You left without saying anything, I didn't know what to think."

He didn't need to say he was referring to the goodbye party.

Ed lowered her gaze, almost shamefully. "I didn't know what to think either, we were drunk, and I was leaving anyway, there was no point."

"I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you."

Ed sighed, sitting up. Roy withdrew has hand, watching her as she reached for her dress on the floor. He sat up as well, following her example. They did need to get back downstairs, lest someone start looking for them. The door wasn't locked, anyone could walk in. But that didn't mean he wanted to leave.

"When are you leaving?" He felt dejected, and honestly, a bit used. If she didn't feel anything for him, why show so much need, so much desperation for him. He couldn't understand. Last time, they were drunk. It had been understandable, he could even call it a mistake, though he had never thought of it as such. But this time…

Ed paused with her back to him, just as she slid her dress up. "I…haven't bought a ticket yet. Al's leaving in a couple of days though."

Roy frowned. "Why didn't you buy your return ticket?" He fastened up his shirt, quickly locating his jacket out on the balcony floor.

Ed took a deep breath, turning around. She grabbed her ripped underwear and quickly threw it in the bin of the en-suite bathroom, then grabbed her heels, sitting on the bed to put them on. "I don't know, I thought I wouldn't…limit my time here."

Roy was hopeful, wanting it to be him, wanting him to be the reason she was thinking of staying. But who was he kidding, he hadn't seen her in four years. Maybe she just wanted to visit more people she knew.

He tried his luck, nonetheless. "In that case, what would you say to coffee tomorrow?"

She looked up at him, surprised. Standing, she fiddled with her hair, trying to restore it to its impeccable state. "I…Okay, I guess..."

He stood in front of her, gazing into her eyes. They had returned to the normal bright gold now, any trace of need gone. And yet he was still desperate. "If you don't want to, just say it. Please."

Both their gazes were unwavering. Her expression was serious as she said, "The way you make me feel scares me. It's wrong, it has to be."

"No, it's not. You make me feel alive. I only realised it now, but when you left everything was just boring and bland." He grasped her elbows, pulling her closer.

She bit her lip, torn. Roy added, "Just give me a chance."

Laughing incredulously, she shook her head. "We can't just forget who we used to be, you know. This would be so weird to everyone who knows us. Fullmetal and her commanding officer, dating?"

He squeezed her elbows pointedly. "Who cares what other people think? You're not Fullmetal anymore and I'm not your commanding officer. I'm Roy and you're Edeline. That is all."

Roy could see the battle going on in her head as she stared at him. He wanted this, _her_ , more than anyone in his life. After tonight, if he didn't see her for years again, he would be left utterly wounded. That scared him, and, if he had learned anything from his good old best friend Maes, it was that, when you find the one, you'll be scared, but risk being hurt anyway.

 _Please risk it, Ed._

Ed closed her eyes and sighed, before taking him aback and wrapping her arms around his back, her face buried in his chest. Roy returned the hug, his fingers threaded through her hair.

"Okay," she said, her voice muffled by his chest.

Roy felt the surge of happiness grip his heart.

Then, she pulled away. She was smiling, however. "We should head back down, before Al thinks we've been kidnapped."

Roy laughed, feeling light, elated. "Wouldn't want that."

They exited the room, hand in hand. As they walked towards the massive staircase, the chatter and music became louder. The party was still going strong, they couldn't have been gone that long.

When they descended the stairs, everyone had moved to the front garden outside. Roy looked at the clock on the wall, and chuckled. He leaned into Ed's ear. "We've been gone almost two hours."

"Fuck," she whispered back.

They walked outside, just in time. Everyone began clapping in anticipation, and in seconds fireworks shot up in the sky. People cheered, more bottles of alcohol popped open. He and Ed stared at the fireworks in wonder. Today, four years ago, they had won, they had saved Amestris. Together. He wondered if Ed realised how truly amazing she was.

Four years ago today, he had watched Ed reach the end of her ultimate mission – getting Al's body back. It was insane how time had flown. A few months after the Promised Day, he thought about it with pride, excitement for the future without the corruption Bradley's leadership had brought the country. But now, he thought about it with a peculiar sense of nostalgia.

He gazed at Ed, watching the colours reflect in her eyes. He hoped she stayed, he didn't want to think being around her had an expiration date. He didn't want her to have a return ticket.

The music turned up just as the last few fireworks shot up.

Roy squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back.

It was then that the others spotted them, yelling at them to get their attention. It wasn't lost on Roy how her hand immediately slipped out of his, but he let it go. Small steps.

"Sister! Sir! Where have you been?" Al practically jogged towards them, though he wasn't as concerned as they had worried he would be. He must've been so engrossed with catching up he must've not realised they had been gone for two hours.

"We just decided to go around the mansion, that's all, it's truly magnificent."

Ed nodded needlessly. "Yeah, we were just catching up." She shrugged.

"Let's go dance guyssss!" Havoc was definitely more than a bit drunk, but it wasn't surprising.

Laughter ensued at Havoc's enthusiasm, and while Roy usually wasn't a party person, he found himself excited. Ed truly made him feel alive.

He couldn't help smiling.

 _Their dirty little secret._

* * *

 _A/N Can you believe I've been writing for 7 years now? That's insane. And what is even more insane is that I still love it just as much. Thank you so much, every single one of you that sent me a message, left a review, or simply read my stories over the years. I'm a bit emotional right now. Thank you, wholeheartedly, because you made me get over my insecurities about writing and encouraged me to write more. There's so much I've written, especially at the beginning in 2013, that I never posted on here just cause I thought it was so bad (and, reading it now, it kind of was haha) but reading it all made me realise how much my writing style has grown and changed._

 _Thank you, and happy new year. I hope 2019 is amazing to all of you :)_


End file.
